Tuesday, April 17, 2012

My Running Buddy

I think that may be one of the sweetest expressions of affection I've ever heard from a human being.

"When you run, I wanna run with you."

Yes, I love to run. . not just in marathons. . Many times in life in general.

From childhood, when something really upset me, I'd run. . with no particular direction. . just away. . I'd run and run and run until I literally ran out of air. Then, I'd remain wherever I ended up until I thought the stress had passed, or until I had conjured enough strength to deal with it. Sometimes I fell asleep wherever I ended up; in the yard, at my aunt's house, at the park. As a kid, it worked.

Once I became an adult, the whole running thing evolved. As a young person, my stress lead me to road trips. . usually home to Momma. She would talk to me, love on me, and Lawd - feed me, until I had the energy to return home and fight the brave fight again.

Then at some point, my running away became jogging. When I felt stress, I would jog for 5 to 10 miles until I felt better. On my really bad days, I'd run up to three times a day. I knew when I got home, the stress would be there, so I'd make myself so tired, funky, and out of it, that by the time I got home, I was gone. . into a sweet shower and slumber. But that stress is now EX stress. . and I put that kind of running behind me. The body does not respect or support that level of need for de-stressing when you're deep into your 30's (and beyond) anyway, so all of that had to go.

These days, there's still stress. Living is stressful even though it has so many rewards. I jog sometimes. I drive sometimes. And it does not have to be because of stress. It can be due to boredom, nervous energy, need for new scenery. . or whatever. . I make arrangements for the kids, and then I go. . to wherever my mind and my heart leads me. I'm always alone. That's the part I've always loved the most about running. I'm out there in my own world. . free to just be me. . with no one judging, complaining, pulling, pushing, demanding, trying to capture or trap me.

About a year ago, I ran smack into someone just like me. . I hit him so hard, the sheer impact knocked me off of my feet. . I didn't even apologize. . I stood up, brushed myself off, and continued running. But this time, there was someone there who ran with me. .

And now, he wants us to run away together. . Let's just see if he can keep up.