I've just arrived. . I'm now able to walk in the light after an 11 month walk in a VERY long and dark tunnel that was filled with embarrassment, frustration, discouragement, anger, sadness, grief. . Just bad.
Here's what I've learned about the journey.
Yes, life is short, but take your time. Good things truly come to those who wait. And on the other side of that, BAD things come to those who rush.
Quick recap in case you missed it. . like I did.
When you're about to get married you feel all sorts of things: Happiness. . Butterflies. . Fear. . Excitement. . Anxiety. . but more than anything LOVE.
Now, that I am officially divorced - don't get all shocked, it's a WONDERFUL thing - I went back and read the last post I wrote before getting married 11 months ago, and I noticed something SO profound, I wish I would've caught it then. - http://lifeasitdoes.blogspot.com/2012/02/tomorrow-is-day.html.
I never said I felt loved. . or was in love. . Which is good. . at least, I'm honest, right?
I actually read all the posts I wrote to chronicle the path I took to the altar:
None of them. . not a one mention love. . or anything significant enough to justify the wrong path I took.
I'm still a little embarrassed. . but more relieved than anything. . It's over. . And today's a new day. .
Here's how I feel about this thing. EVERYONE makes mistakes. Just like everyone sins. You can judge me, but since I don't really care about your opinion, you may want to save the effort. I've already judged myself, and determined that I'm WONDERFUL. Imperfect, but wonderful all the same. You can't talk me out of it.
What you CAN do is to live life a day at a time. And like my Momma use to say, "Just keep saying good morning."
Today, I'm just thanking God that I lived to see morning. . where the joy is.
Hey, stay posted. I have a lot more dumb shit to do now that I've crossed this one off the list. . and hopefully a lot more good.