Tuesday, March 1, 2011

He said he still loves me

Now, what am I sposed to do with that?

I've yearned to hear him say those words for SO long! Every day, I smile at the photos of him I have saved on my computer. I can't remember a day that's passed that I haven't called him, sent him a text, or at least started a text to him that I caught myself before sending.

I'm still SO in love with this man. I can't even put it into words.

But he let go.

People don't understand me. They don't understand the things I cherish to the core: family, wisdom, honesty, LOYALTY. It is a quality that can never be over-stated. I am loyal to a fault, and I NEED that.

I did him wrong. . or did I? Well, I broke up with him. But those are just words. Angry words tossed around to get a reaction.

I NEVER let go. Even in my anger, I still made it clear that I was still in it. I NEEDED him.

It's not that I don't spend every night laying in bed thinking of how much I enjoy the way he touches me, kisses me, talks to me.. Uuuugh, I LOVE this man!But life is weird. It's so weird. I'm SO deep in love with THIS man while there's another man that is SO deep in love with me. And he is loyal.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh, but I LOVE this man!

God, it's your call. I need you to overrule my heart and help me to submit to what it truly your will. Right now all I know is what the heart desires.

And that, with all my being, I LOVE this man!