About Me

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No matter how far along I get in life, I'll always refer to myself as "That chick that grew up poor in the drug-filled streets of Port Arthur, Texas." Always a bad ass!

Right now, I'm going through a top-down transformation. I'm starting with my hair - taking it from processed to natural; and so far I'm loving it. Get updates on my process on newtonatural.com.

Friday, May 11, 2012

I've Come to Grips with being Perfectly Imperfect

I'm a grown up now. And I don't measure my growth by my age. Hell, I would've rung the bell 18 years ago if that was the gauge, but nah. . I just reached this plateau. I'm new grown.

I've learned the lesson Momma couldn't teach, and Daddy couldn't force, and Siblings couldn't share: I'm happy just being me: perfectly imperfect.

I'm spiritual, nurturing,impatient, beautiful, smart, bossy, FUNNY, loving, honest, stubborn, transparent, caring, sarcastic, headstrong, tough as nails, forgetful, opinionated, cocky, active, adventurous, curious, extremely picky. . I could go on. But you get where I'm going. I'm a mixed bag.

And I love that about me.

  • I love the fact that God sent a wordsmith to Port Arthur, TX, so people could tease me about how proper I spoke; and that I was still arrogant enough to emphasize words all the more just to spite the haters.
  • I love the fact that my family was poor, so instead of playing games systems, and watching TV, getting our hair and nails "did," we played together, talked, took care of one another, and bonded.
  • I love the fact that I've gone through some shit that would've ran others crazy. . but that I'm still sharp as razor blades (Yeah, that's better than nails). . and smiling.
  • I love the fact that I don't look like what I've been through, so my confidence is often mistaken for vanity because a stranger could easily assume that someone somehow made life easier for me instead of the reality that I've fought, worked, and prayed for EVERYTHING I've received.
  • I even love the fact that God gave eternal peace and rest to the only two people in my life I knew that I knew that I knew would love me on the days when I just couldn't figure out how to love myself. . and started me on the search for the answer to, "Well, why should anyone love me?"
  • I love the fact that I have 3 kids that test me, a family that often times doesn't appreciate me, and a job that makes me want to pull my hair out on some days and work for free on others.
And it's ALL GOOD. My state of mind did not come overnight. . or over a couple of years. . or even a decade. It's taken me a lifetime to get here and to love where I am. But now I've arrived. . well, sorta. . I'm still learning, growing, morphing, but loving the ride all the while. But I'm so happy with me. As I child, I could not have asked God to build me up the way he has with the tools, limitations, hurts, or responsibilities he's given me, but I wouldn't change a thing. I'm perfectly imperfect, and that's exactly where I want to be. Happy Mothers Day to all the Mother's. Love you. And I pray that you too can love your perfectly imperfect self.

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