Three Stalkers are Enough

Every day, men prove to me that not only do women have men wrong, but men have men wrong. I don't think one man can ever really predict what another man would do. And I better NEVER hear another man saying what he will NEVER do.

NEVER. HA!

Here's the deal. I LOVE challenges. I kinda have an addiction for them.

I DON'T WANT A PLAYER. I DON'T WANT A "HANDS ON" WOMAN BEATER. I DON'T WANT A F'ING LIAR. I DON'T WANT A LAZY BUM. I JUST want a challenge.

I just want a man who knows how to walk like a man and not expect me to write a list of stuff he has to do from the time he wakes up to the moment he goes to sleep. SHIT!

Give me some attention, but don't try to move in within the first 3 months.

Check on me sometimes, but 12 text messages and 5 phone calls in a day. . REALLY?? You ain't got shit else to do?

Go out with your friends - be respectful of the fact that you got a gem - but don't feel like you have to be glued to my side like a suckling infant. I HATE that!

When it comes to men, what I get is men who want to spend every second of every damn day with me. They will break the bank and go crazy, so that I don't have a complaint. They will abandon friend and family, so they can spend all of their time attending to my needs.

But guess what? You're gonna love this. I HATE that!

I like my space, I'm actually fairly frugal, I'm gonna have something to say about stuff just because I'm opinionated, and I need elbow room. Not a lot, but shit!

I know what will happen. Men will read this blog post and think I'm cocky or that I'm looking for an asshole who won't even open the door. I'm not. Sorry.

Even better, I am never and will not start looking. . EVER. I believe that if it's meant for me to find, God will send it to me.

But if I end up with another stalker, I'm retiring from the Love Game FOREVER. I just can't do it any more. . Forget Eight is Enough. THREE is ENOUGH!!

Taking a break. . a long break. to figure out where ya girl is going wrong.

I can't take another stalker. Or another ex who does not respect the breakup rules.

He said he still loves me

Now, what am I sposed to do with that?

I've yearned to hear him say those words for SO long! Every day, I smile at the photos of him I have saved on my computer. I can't remember a day that's passed that I haven't called him, sent him a text, or at least started a text to him that I caught myself before sending.

I'm still SO in love with this man. I can't even put it into words.

But he let go.

People don't understand me. They don't understand the things I cherish to the core: family, wisdom, honesty, LOYALTY. It is a quality that can never be over-stated. I am loyal to a fault, and I NEED that.

I did him wrong. . or did I? Well, I broke up with him. But those are just words. Angry words tossed around to get a reaction.

I NEVER let go. Even in my anger, I still made it clear that I was still in it. I NEEDED him.

It's not that I don't spend every night laying in bed thinking of how much I enjoy the way he touches me, kisses me, talks to me.. Uuuugh, I LOVE this man!But life is weird. It's so weird. I'm SO deep in love with THIS man while there's another man that is SO deep in love with me. And he is loyal.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh, but I LOVE this man!

God, it's your call. I need you to overrule my heart and help me to submit to what it truly your will. Right now all I know is what the heart desires.

And that, with all my being, I LOVE this man!

Weeping may endure for a night..

. . but joy cometh in the morning." And it is morning, so I know I'm going to be OK.

Me and Baby Beast parted ways last night. I asked him to answer the only question that's important to me in a relationship right now.

In a year, will it be you and me? He said he didn't know, and that's just not good enough.

I'm 35 years old. I have a beautiful family, a great job, and I look DAMN good. Time's up for the audition. I stuck with him for two years, and gave my very best to the man that I love. For him to say that he does not know if he could see himself with me, that was just too much.

I've weeped, but I have not cried. I'm a little numb. When I give myself a couple of seconds to reflect, I feel the tears creeping into my eyes. So, today is going to be one of my busy days because I don't have time for tears. When I have time, I'll take a few moments to get it out my system and then move on.

Well, I tried.

You are the EX: Here are the Ex Factor Rules

Forget dating rules. I now devoutly believe there should be Ex Factor Rules; a system of rules and guidelines that the EX must follow once he's screwed himself out of a great relationship.

Of course, I'm not an expert on establishing bylaws or legal agreements, but I am now on the list of The Unfortunate Few Who Have Somehow Earned Themselves the Ex from Hell, and I'd like to lay down a few guidelines. Of course, my particular EX has no respect for rules, which of course, is only one (of the many reasons) he is now the EX, but I figure while I'm suffering I may as well humor myself anway.

Now, if you are one of those really smart people who go into a relationship thinking, hmmmm, this person could become a really bad EX, please feel free to print off the list of Ex Factor Rules and somehow coerce your soon to be crazy EX into signing them. Good luck with that, BTW.


Ex Factor Rules:

1. You will NOT call me blocked when I've decided to stop answering your phone calls. {I'm not stupid. You just called 12 seconds ago. I know it's still you.}
2. You will NOT compliment me on the new furniture I bought after you broke into my house and stole the old stuff. {And how did you get close enough to my house to see the new furniture? Don't I have a restraining order against you anyway?}
3. You will NOT ask our mutual acquaintances to give me messages from you. {In case you did not figure it out during the 14 years we were together, dude, they HATE you! Everyone, now including me, knows you are a cheating PIA.}
4. You should NOT expect a gift on your birthday, our now defunct anniversary, or any recognized or un-recognized holiday. {I am now saving my money to do that sort of special stuff for people I actually like. . or at least, who do not make me want to choke them.}
5. You will NOT convince yourself - after learning that the 4 other women you brought into our relationship were not the one for you - that I am, oh yeah, in fact the one. {Yeah, I love Sponge Bob, but will not tempt fate with a CRABBY PATTY or anything in jeapordy of being said patty. I'll pass.}
6. You will NOT send me various YouTube songs throughout the day with various "I miss you" lyrics. {You are totally interrupting my Mary J. Blige on Pandora.. and this is not the old depressed Mary J. this is the new "Moving On" Mary J.}
7. When you are finally fortunate enough to somehow get my attention for more than the 2 seconds it takes me to realize it's you and securely lock the door to my home or car, do NOT waste your time asking me if I miss you. {Let me see, do I miss the person who took away the peace and security we built for ourselves and our children during our 14 year relationship by chasing a piece of tail. Wow! This is gonna be a hard one, but I'll go ahead and throw out a HELL no!}

Now, as with our wonderful constitution, I want to be flexible with these Ex Factor Rules, because I know this fool is going to do something that's going to make me add to the list by way of an (informal) amendment. However, getting him to adhere to this list would actually alleviate most of the ridiculous moments I find myself having every time I have to interact with this fool.

Of course, because of my ever so weak stomach, I do not have it in me to ever approach my EX with the list, so I'm hoping it will serve as the point of reference I need when I'm forced to interact with the PIA.. even if it is only referenced in my mind.