I have so much to be grateful for this Christmas. Wow! God has really opened the doors of heaven and showered SO many blessings on me, I just cannot tell it all. I know that. I know I'm blessed. I know that God has been good to me and my family. I'm grateful... so, so grateful.
But I still miss my Angel.
I have the best Christmas memories. I can remember waking up on Christmas morning, and going to my Momma's room to get my presents. I can remember how bright everything was. The lights were the kind that had movement. They were as bright as neon.
Now, my tree lights are LED to conserve energy and I keep them static because the flashing is distracting to me. It's not the same.
Momma would cook a huge Christmas dinner. . Nothing fancy. . Just stuff I loved. . Everything I loved.
I'm not cooking. I baked a couple of cakes, but we wont' eat here. There are too many loved ones we have to see and spend time with to eat at home. It's not the same.
On Christmas Day, I could be at home and plan to see all my brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins and friends. Everyone dropped by that old house on the corner of 10th street to laugh, eat, talk, and just share the day.
I now live in a suburb; just me and the kids. Everyone is so spread out now that we don't even try to visit each other for Christmas. It feels like we're all in a weird game of tag, and noone wants to leave the base where they are safe. The new Christmas tradition is isolation.
God is good. God is good. His blessings overflow in my life. I won't complain. I'm blessed. But I miss my Momma, who was and is still my angel. I miss my Angel and those angelic days when life was simple and filled with family.