Sorry Business Owners and Drug Sellers Are All the Same

After leaving Home Depot, I drove down State Street into Jackson to see if I could find a store that sold black hair products without having to go to the other side of town or shop at a big box store, and Voila! I found one that had a really friendly staff that helped me find everything I needed. Wooohooo.

On my way there, I passed a Texaco that had gas for $3.06 and made a mental note to myself to stop and address my gas light that was on while I was en route to the hair products store.

After I paid for my gas at the pump, I decided to go into the store to get a beverage - because I had just filled up in 98 degree weather and didn't think I'd make it all the way back to work without something cool.

I went into the store - passed 4 open coolers in the very front that were filled with huge cans of beer. . I went to the back of the store and scanned the refrigerated drinks hoping to find a Lipton Diet Green Tea. But no luck. So, I decided to settle for any green tea. . But no luck. So, I decided to just pick a tea.. But again no luck.

Now, this Texaco was really large, so it took me a moment to figure out what the problem was. . Once I did, it made me really sad. . then angry.

Not including the open coolers that were in the front of the store, there were 12 vertical refrigerators filled with cold beverages. One was filled with different kinds of water. One was filled with soft drinks and juices. And TEN were filled with beer and different kinds of alcohol.

I went to the front of the store and asked to speak to the owner, who was standing nearby. I told the guy, "You have NO tea in the entire store. That's so weird." He looked at me, smiled, and said, "Hmmm. Ok."

I said, "I have never seen such a disproportionate amount of alcohol sold in a convenient store. There's almost nothing else."

And this fool looked at me, smiled, and asked, "Do you even know where you are?"

I walked closer to him and said, "Yes, I'm in Jackson. I live here. Do you?" And he said, "HELL no!"

I was so disgusted; partly because I realized that I had just patronized this fool's store by purchasing gas.

Jackson, MS has its issues. There's no denying it. But the average person values the area they live in because there really is a lot of pride in city. I haven't even lived here long, and I already share it.

Business owners like this one, in ANY city, are no better than the gang bangers and crack sellers on the street because they mean no good for the city or the people in it. I will NEVER shop at the Texaco on State Street again. And I will make sure I tell everyone that I talk to how this business owner really thinks of Jackson, Mississippi.

What am I going to do with this hair?

I am done with the days when I refuse to work out because I'm afraid to ruin my hair. I am also done with the days that I ease my hair maintenance saga by allowing a beautician to braid my hair so tight that I have back-to-back migraines for weeks (and half of my hair falls out when I un-braid it). I have enough migraines as it is. I just can't go back to days in bed filled with painful headaches. What kind of life is that?

I am an active black woman with processed hair and it's becoming a serious burden because I sweat it out everyday when I'm walking, running, and playing tennis. Then, I have to wash and condition it at least every other day to keep it clean and smelling good. And with a perm, it seems like after you've washed your hair about four times, it just begins to return back to its pre-processed state. It costs me $80 a month for the beautician and 3 hours of time. That's all I have to give. What do I do?

One answer just rolls out of some people's mouths: "Go natural."

For a black woman, going natural means discontinuing the process of chemically straightening the hair. Perming your hair is a really awful process anyway . Those chemicals could eat through cement, but we put them in our hair because we don't want to be seen with a kinky, nappy, uncontrollable mess on our heads. I know I don't.

And if the truth be told, I'd LOVE to go natural! No, really I would. I have this vision of waking up in the morning and in a few quick steps being done with this thick mane.

But I work in an industry, in a geographic region, in a facility where the expectation is that you will come in each day looking. . well, like everyone else. I think they would be OK if I came in one day with a full afro. I'm sure I'll hear, "Anasthia, you look so exotic." That's what "people" say when you test the boundaries of generally accepted standards of beauty by doing something a little different.

But I know I will get some negative feedback on coming in to the office with hair that's transitioning from processed to natural. It just doesn't happen overnight.

You think the Pentagon has rigid rules on how Black women should keep their hair? The un-spoken rules that prevail for a woman like me who is not only marketing an organization, but also marketing herself, are far more stringent. And not walking the line can be down right un-forgivable as far as your career is concerned. Yes, sad. But true.

I'm not sure what to do.

Well, for now, I'm going to continue working really hard to keep my hair looking good while I decide a long-term plan, but if you want to reply with some ideas, give me a shout. I'm at a crossroads, and am willing to listen.