What a Mother Teaches Her Daughter

I've always said that I don't want to be my daughter's friend. She's in college now, and nothing's changed.

- We're never EVER gonna be club pals. Hellllllll nawwwwwwwwwww!
- She's not gonna be able to be around me cussing up a storm.
- We won't get matching tattoos.
- Yes and No Ma'am will never become an outdated way of replying to my questions.
- I'm not going to hit her up for money when I blow through mine, or expect her to cover me on my bills.
- We will not date out of the same pool of guys.
- She can't ever hurt my feelings, and make me turn my back on her.
- No one will enter a room and catch us in a fist-fight.
- She's not going to be the one I call up when I need to vent about getting my heart broken.
- We won't enter a pact to get pregnant or give birth at the same time.

I love her. I've loved this child since all I knew about her was how sharp her elbows were because she had positioned herself in my belly in a way that projected those suckers into my rib cage. And because I love this child DEEPLY in a way that can never ever end, I will walk the walk and talk the talk and be someone she can always be proud of.

I will make good decisions so I can always be in a position to hold her up when the world tries to knock her off her feet.

So, my life will forever be focused on teaching my daughter life lessons:

- How beautiful she is inside and out.
- All the reasons she is SO love-able.
- How to keep things that hurt her from destroying her.
- Why family is so important.
- How to stand on her own two feet.
- Who to turn to when it seems like there's no one in her corner. (GOD)
- How important it is to know when to stay and when to go.
- That it's OK to fall down as long as she loves yourself enough to get up and keep it moving.
- Why she shouldn't waste energy on trying to make everyone happy.
- How I know that EVERY good thing comes from God.

My Momma did it for me. She RAISED me, and never stopped. Sometimes, I was a real spoiled brat, but she never did anything to tear me down. She RAISED ME. So now when I think of her I don't have a bunch of silliness clouding the vision of who she was.

A FUNNY, HARDWORKING, STRONG, BEAUTIFUL, SMART, LOVING, PASSIONATE, FORGIVING, GOD-FEARING MOTHER.

I know it's an old school concept, but it's one I've grown to love. Be a Mother to your daughter, so when she needs the experience, wisdom, and love you have to give, she always knows where to turn.

Sometimes, I have to glance back at an essay my daughter wrote, that reminds me of what she sees. http://lifeasitdoes.blogspot.com/2011/09/just-wow-what-did-i-do-to-deserve-this.html

Keep saying good morning, CHICKEN LITTLE

I HAVE to develop patience for the Chicken Littles of the world. Because they've never experienced the really big shit, they over react about EVERY little thing that happens over the course of a day.

You forget to greet them in the morning. They upset. If someone doesn't hold the door so they can enter a building. They offended. If you don't do everything exactly as they think you should, well they are downright annoyed.

You know 'em. You see them all the time.

-- They've never been really poor. And I'm referring to the poor of my childhood. Couldn't afford (or experience) lunch outside of the free variety I got at school. No medical insurance, dental, life insurance. Lights off at random. Long bouts without hot water because Momma couldn't afford the parts, pipes, or hell the water heater. Keep in mind that when you catch yourself referring to the poor, many times Chicken Littles think that they have been poor because they probably have never met someone who was really poor, so they can't even picture what you're talking about.
HOW TO IDENTIFY THESE CHICKEN LITTLES: They often times say things that are completely insensitive of the fact that there are many people who don't have and may never have the opportunity to get a higher education, own a home, pay off a car, go on a real vacation.

-- They don't have kids, so they don't really have a clue about what it takes to be connected on that level to another human being because you gave that person life. For some reason, Chicken Littles always have parenting advice. "Just ignore it." "Let them go through this stage." "Put them in timeout."
HOW TO IDENTIFY THESE CHICKEN LITTLES: They complain about parents who have to stay home with their kids, bring their kids to work, discipline their kids in public. Or cancel on something because of their kids. Or even better, they constantly refer to their pet as their child.

-- They have never been married, but are convinced that they are READY. . probably because of some family they've seen on TV that they have envisioned could be them once they tie the knot. They know EXACTLY the type of person they're waiting for because they've spent countless hours day dreaming about that "perfect" person that will wear armor, ride in on a white horse, and sweep them off their feet.
HOW TO IDENTIFY THESE CHICKEN LITTLES: Just listen. You can't miss it. They are the ones spouting off about what they wouldn't tolerate out of a spouse. And always starting sentences with "When I get married. . "

- - They've never really experienced loss. They probably have both parents still living, and are pretty well insulated from the end results of living in a family that couldn't afford health insurance because all their folks are healthy. The weird thing is that they are probably NOT healthy. The end results of being so protected is a little invincibility, so they probably over-indulge in food, or drugs, alcohol, sex, or some other irresponsible behavior.
HOW TO IDENTIFY THESE CHICKEN LITTLES: Depending on their tool for over-indulgence, it may be a few things.. Be creative.

Now, I don't think Chicken Littles are bad. Ignorance is not bad; it's bliss. . But just keep on saying "Good Morning," like Momma use to say.

One day even the most green Chicken Littles lose a job or income, have a child, get married, lose a couple of folks that are the cornerstones of their existence. . and then their eyes a